Amar o Depender – Walter Riso

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Buscar Libro: Intimidades Masculinas, Walter Riso.

El gusto por la droga no es lo que define al adicto, sino su incompetencia para dejarla o tenerla bajo control. Querer algo con todas las fuerzas no es malo, convertirlo en imprescindible, si.

El hecho de que desees a tu pareja, que la degustes de arriba abajo, que no veas la hora de enredarte en sus brazos, que te deleites en su presencia, su sonrisa o su mas tierna estupidez, no significa que sufras de apego. Pero si el bienestar recibido se vuelve indispensable, la urgencia por verla no te deja en paz y tu mente se desgasta pensando en ella: bienvenido al mundo de los adictos afectivos.

Recuerda: el deseo mueve al mundo, y la dependencia lo frena. La idea no es reprimir las ganas naturales que surgen del amor, sino fortalecer la capacidad de soltarse cuando haya que hacerlo.

Sugerencias: Empieza por alguna travesura que no sea peligrosa. Recurre al método del absurdo. Despreocupate del que dirán y de la adecuación social.

Nadie recuerda las experiencias recatadas y prudentes del pasado. La memoria siempre gira al rededor de las locuras y las metidas de pata que hicimos.

“Voy a consumir cada día menos crack”, puede resultar risible para los que saben del tema. La adiccion no se rompe lentamente. Puede haber retrocesos, avances y recaídas, pero la lucha es a muerte. Para una persona con predisposición a la adiccion no hay medias tintas. Un sorbo, una fumada o el mínimo consumo puede ser definitivo para que la oscura puerta del vicio vuelva a abrirse.

Parafraseando a Seneca: No hay esclavitud mas vergonzosa que la voluntaria.

El principio del autocontrol consistente: Si tengo miedo a las arañas, la mejor manera de vencer la fobia es permanecer el tiempo suficiente con ellas para que mi organismo se habitué a la adrenalina. Pero cuando se trata de apegos la cosa es distinta. Las adicciones no se vencen por exposición. Aquí la mejor opción es el autocontrol y la resistencia activa. Recordemos que en la adición no hay empalago; por el contrario, cuanto mas droga recibe el adicto, mas dependencia crea. A veces parecería no haber limite.

Rich Brother, Rich Sister – Robert Kiyosaki

Rich Brother Rich Sister

Search books by Dr R Buckminister Fuller.

America is a great county if you have money. If you are poor America can be a tough place to live.

Book: See you at the top, by Zig Ziglar.

Dr Fuller said that a life of specialization could easily become a life of obsolescence. And the more specialized you are, the less people you could serve. He thought it was better to be a generalist rather than a specialist. Specialists look at the world from a narrow point of view while generalists see the big picture.

I don’t think being poor makes me any more spiritual. In fact, when I was poor the circumstance actually robbed me of my spirit.

Its hard to have spiritual power when you are unethical or amoral.

For there to be precession, there must be motion in a direction.  People who are sedentary, not moving, or doing the same thing day after day, have little precession.

Since one’s heaven can be another person’s hell, the question is, what creates a person’s heaven or hell?  While there are many possible answers, one answer is happiness… or the lack of it.

So what is your gift? When I am asked about ho to find one’s gift, I simply reply, “If you had all the money in the world, what would you do for the rest of your life? What would make your heart sing?” I also say “One of the reasons a person does not give or use their gift is because they have been trained to go to school and get a job to earn money.  So the question is, What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about money?”

Why do bad things happen to good people? After something is lost, or something bad happens, I often hear people ask that question.  I follow Dr Fuller’s idea that “good and bad are meaningless.” I now know that all things, good or bad, are blessings.  For example, crashing into the ocean gave me life.  Going broke made me rich. Losing my first wife made me a better husband for Kim. Getting fat made me a healthier person today.

The following steps may assist you in finding your spiritual family.  The first step is to ask yourself “What am I willing to give my life to?” The answer to this question may take some soul-searching but the moment you begin to find your answers, you will begin to find your spiritual family.

The second step is to ask yourself the following questions:

  • If money were no object, would I continue to work at my job?
  • If money were no object, would I work at my job for free?
  • If the answers are “no” to the first two questions, then what would you work at forever and for free?
  • If you are not willing to work forever and for free, then the chances are you have not yet found your soul’s purpose for your life.  If there is something else you would rather do, maybe you should do it.

Its difficult to earn more if you have stopped learning and growing.

Whenever you feel fear, it may mean you are approaching the boundary of what you know and what you do not know.  If you backdown or step back, your growing stops because your learning stops.

Don’t work with “corpse-people”. If you are working for a corpse-o-ration, government or business, be careful. There are people who feed on your fear of losing your job and your need of money. Oftentimes these people give you the creeps or heebie-jeebies. That’s your spirit talking, telling you to be aware. If you stay too long, working only for a paycheck, promotion, or retirement, your soul will be long gone.

I found that when I focused on serving others, blessings other than money came to me. Sometimes the blessings came in the form of bad people or disasters, which is how I learned that something good always came from something bad.  Actually, I found I learned more from my disasters than my miracles.

As Warren Buffet often says, “If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot control your money”.

Most of use know that the most dangerous words in business are: “Trust Me”.  When you hear those words grab your purse or wallet and hang on tight.  Others are “I have integrity”, “I am here to help”, “I’m behind you all the way”.

I have always believed that stress is how intelligence works.

 

 

The Education of Millionaires – Michael Ellsberg

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Around two years ago, at the age of thirty-two, I came to a shocking realization. Not one penny of how I earned my income was even slightly related to anything I ever studied or learned in college.

All the money in the world provides little comfort if we are lonely, sick, or forlorn of love.

All of us—at least the most idealistic among us—want to make a difference in the world, whether it’s in business, the arts, politics, philanthropy, science, or technology. At the very least, we want to make a difference in our communities. This is what feels meaningful to us: making a difference, having an impact, living for a purpose.

So, how do we reconcile our deepest dreams of making a difference in the world—our dreams of leading a meaningful, impactful life, a life of purpose—with the stark reality that the world doesn’t always care what kind of difference we want to make or give us an A for effort? Navigating these rocky existential waters is one of the most important aptitudes you could develop. Err too far in either direction, and it’s very unlikely you’ll end up happy in life. Err too far on the side of reaching for lofty dreams within your career, without any attention to existing market risks and constraints, and you may end up, as David did at twenty-one, in a hospital for malnourishment, at least metaphorically speaking. And few people who end up in that place of starving-artist-hood have the fortune to get out, as David eventually did. Yet, err too far in the other direction, giving in to fear and sticking to the safe path, without even a nod to the larger impact you want to make, the greater purpose you want to achieve, and you may end up feeling like you missed out. You may enjoy some level of predictability or security in your income, but it won’t feel very satisfying to you inside. Few people would call this “success.”

If you want to become wealthy or famous, which I presume you do if you’re buying and reading a book on success, then you’re going to need to make a difference in the lives of many people.

Making an impact on large groups of people involves leading them in some way. Yet, seeking to be a leader is akin to seeking what economists call a “positional good.” A classic example of a positional good is a penthouse apartment. You can’t have a penthouse apartment unless there are apartments below it. Not everyone in society could have a penthouse apartment.

Those who do end up leading often achieve leadership, amass wealth, fame, or support, or make an impact on the world, largely through the effects of word of mouth. Followers/customers/fans convert other people to followers/customers/fans, who convert more people to followers/customers/fans, until a big group—which business author Seth Godin calls a “tribe”—has amassed around that given leader, company, or artist.

Another way to see it: at any point in your career, you’ll usually be choosing between one path that is safer and one path that has the potential to feel more meaningful to you, between one path that is more certain and one that offers more of a chance for a sense of purpose and heroism. It’s hard to be a hero if there’s no risk involved.

there are also a lot of unacknowledged risks to not following your passions, of sticking too close to the beaten path in the name of safety and predictability. These include: “[T]he risk of working with people you don’t respect; the risk of working for a company whose values are inconsistent with your own; the risk of compromising what’s important; the risk of doing something that fails to express—or even contradicts—who you are. And then there is the most dangerous risk of all—the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”3
Randy calls the safe-and-narrow path, which pretends to incur no risks but which incurs the biggest risk of all (regretting your life at the end of it),

So, according to what I’ve described so far in this chapter, we face a serious dilemma: Either we follow our passions and purpose, and incur a significant risk of ending up as a starving artist, or we follow a safe, predictable, boring path, and incur a significant risk of ending up full of regret in our lives. Neither option sounds very palatable. Is there a way out of this bind?

It’s just so different—and better—figuring out how to make a difference in the world and find meaning in your life when your bills are covered and you have a secure roof over your head. It’s way less stressful than trying to do it when you’re broke.

I’m amazed at how many people won’t go for their dreams because they’re scared of that 95-percent failure statistic or some version of it. Let’s consider an analogy. While I have absolutely no scientific data to back this up, it seems to me a reasonable guess that 95 percent of all dates are failures. Now, imagine what would happen to our species if all people, when they heard of the low success rates of individual dates leading past the first date, freaked out and said, “OH MY GOD! I’M NEVER GOING TO GO ON A DATE AGAIN! I MIGHT GET REJECTED!” This generation would be the last. Fortunately, when it comes to dating, humans see that there is a big difference between the high likelihood that any single date will fail and the very low likelihood that all of your dates for the rest of your life will fail. Doing something entrepreneurial is, much like dating, a numbers game. If you can keep your financial and emotional losses low each iteration, and not jump off a building if the business (or date) fails, well then, you can keep trying and trying. Eventually, most everyone can find a creative blending of passion and money that works for them, just as eventually most everyone can find a great date that leads to something more.

I got into the world of marketing and sales. I discovered a lot of the past marketing and sales geniuses, like Claude Hopkins and Eugene Schwartz and John Caples and David Ogilvy, and read all of their books. I read Robert Cialdini’s book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, which was very impactful on me.

So, if you want to recruit powerful mentors and teachers to your team, the secret is giving. Giving. Giving. Support them. Figure out how you can help them, and do it. Be the water beneath them, pushing them up the fountain. Be enterprising about it—figure out ways to give and to support them that will blow their mind.

So, if you want to recruit powerful mentors and teachers to your team, the secret is giving. Giving. Giving. Support them. Figure out how you can help them, and do it. Be the water beneath them, pushing them up the fountain. Be enterprising about it—figure out ways to give and to support them that will blow their mind.

(If you feel you need to brush up on your own social intelligence—including your sense of tact—a great place to start is the book Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman. I highly recommend this book: social intelligence is something we learn almost nothing about in our formal education.)

You should definitely read The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford, and Networking with the Affluent by Thomas J. Stanley, two of the best books on high-integrity, no-sleaze connecting I’ve read.

Your self-study and learning in one of these areas of advice giving is highly liquid; it can often be traded for learning in another area. Because few people are truly well-rounded, if you become well-rounded in these areas of marketing and sales, health and nutrition, spirituality and personal philosophy, and interesting hobbies and passions, you will almost always have something to help people with. It’s like a Swiss army knife of service, ready in your back pocket for any occasion. And, as you give more, and serve more, you’ll eventually attract the right teachers in all these areas, who will help you learn more …

It turns out, Eben doesn’t often do consulting. He’s so busy working on his Internet business, which brings in $30 million a year in revenue (close to $100K per day), that it just doesn’t pay for him to take hours away from his workday to focus on paid hourly labor. If he spends several hours on someone else’s business for pay, he gets the pay, but he never gets the products of his labor back. If he spends a few hours creating an Internet video that he sells, he can keep selling that video for the rest of his life. The gift that keeps on giving. Leverage. Scalability.

We get paid less and are valued less by other businesspeople with whom we might want to connect because these skill sets have a lower impact on business results. We’ve basically just trained ourselves to be cogs in a machine. Now, with highly educated Chinese and Indians happy to do this kind of by-the-book work for us, many of us are finding that these skills we’ve been training sixteen years to develop have no impact in the workplace at all; we’re out of work. Software programs might even take our job.

in a capitalist economy, in general (and with some significant exceptions) money flows to the people who make the most impact on the most people who have the most money. That’s just the way the game works. You can rail against it, you can call for a socialist revolution. But as long as you’re still opting to play the game, you might as well learn the rules of the game.

$50,000 in a day—because your skill set was that highly valued on the marketplace—and give that money.

In my experience, the skill of success breaks down into three things. The skill of marketing. The skill of sales. And the skill of leadership.

In the Fortune 1000, what position is the most highly paid? You think it’s the CEO? Nope. It’s the #1 sales rep. Second most highly paid? The #2 sales rep. Third most highly paid? VP of sales. Fourth? CEO.

What I still didn’t realize—and what most people who are resistant to learning sales don’t realize—is that there’s a lot of room between just hanging out your shingle and hoping people show up, on the one hand, and forcing and manipulating people to buy things they don’t want, on the other hand. Most people, for reasons of integrity,

Thedagroup.ca

If you want to earn more money in a different field or industry than you currently work in, how can you gain the experience you need in your new chosen field without abandoning your current cash flow? Perhaps you could learn at night or on weekends, or start small and moonlight in the new business. Perhaps you can “learn while you earn” in some way. Maybe you can find people out there who are already successful in that field, who can mentor you for free, or with whom you can apprentice for free.
The point is not that debt is always bad—it’s that the decisions you make when you’re spending your own hard-earned money now, rather than spending “play money” on credit, tend to be more realistic, focused, and reasoned, and less risky and speculative.

It turns out that the millionaires I’ve been talking to who did not complete their formal education didn’t forsake education at all. They were simply following andragogy rather than pedagogy.

Take some of the best books on entrepreneurship. Maybe Innovation and Entrepreneurship by Peter Drucker. Or The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki,

“You wake up in the morning, you go brush your teeth. You walk to the kitchen, you make your breakfast. You get ready for work, you drive to work. You get to work. You count the hours until your first coffee break, then its lunchtime. And then you get home from work. You’re exhausted. You don’t even want to talk to your spouse or your friends because you are so tired. You get on the computer and you just numb out and you surf the Internet. Then you go to bed and repeat. That was how my life felt. I knew I had to make a change. I knew I had to do something. I didn’t know how I was going to do it or what it was going to be, but I had to do something.”

At some point in his sales career, he had learned about a concept called “the five-minute rule” from one of his sales mentors. This mentor, a high school dropout and now a successful sales manager, had told Hal: “You’re going to have customers who aren’t going to buy from you. Some might be rude to you or cut your appointment short. You’re going to have days when you don’t reach your goals. And it’s OK to be negative sometimes. But not for more than five minutes.

I can’t change what happened to me. There’s no point in feeling bad about it. If I feel down on myself, or sad or depressed, that doesn’t change anything, it just makes me miserable.”
After I made all these excuses to this guy as to why I wasn’t successful, he said, “Well, if there are other people doing well in your industry, and you’re not, there’s nothing wrong with the business you’re in, there’s something wrong with you.” And I said, “Well, no, no, no, you don’t understand . . .” and I went through a whole other list of excuses as to why the business wasn’t working. “I’m good at what I do. It’s just a really tough business. I want to get into a different, better business, which will be easier.” He said, “Look, young man. You’re like most people. You think the grass is greener on the other side. What’s going to happen if you go into another business is you’re going to spend another six months, another year, another two years, learning the technical skills of another industry, so you can go out and repeat the same bad business habits that have caused you to be a failure in this business. “What you need to do, young man, is learn fundamental business skills. Because once you do, you can apply those to any industry. But until you learn how to make a business work, it doesn’t matter what industry you go into, you’re still going to fail at it.” That was probably the most profound advice ever given to me, at a time in my life when I was willing to hear it, and have it sink in.
they engaged in deep inquiry about what outcomes they specifically wanted to create in their lives, and then relentlessly engaged in only the activities directly related to producing those outcomes in their lives.

If you look for and take care of what’s needed in a situation, rather than what’s requested by your boss, your teammates, or your clients, you’ll always be the first one up for promotions, the first one to win new business, and the last one laid off.

Schooling is important if you want to become a lawyer, a doctor, or a professor. But it’s not as critical for being an entrepreneur.

The Startup Genome Project (http://www.startupgenome.cc). The Project is inspired by the work of successful serial entrepreneur Steve Blank, who argues in his books and teachings that a startup is an organization that should be designed specifically to learn.

He has traded theoretical education in college courses, which cost him a fortune, for real-world education in his own startup, in which he’s instead earning money while he learns. He has simply bypassed the higher education bubble.

Its just so different – and better – figuring out how to make a difference in the world an dfind meaning in your life when your bills are covered and you have a secure roof over your head. Its way less stressful then trying to do it when you are broke.

It turns out, Eben doesnt do consulting. He is so busy working on his business, which brings 30 million a year in revenue, that it just doesnt pay forhim to take hours away from his workday to focus on paid hourlylabor. If he spends several hours on someone else’s business for pay, he gets the pay, but he never gets the products of his labor back. If he spends a few hours creating an Internet video that he sells, he can keep selling that video for the rest of his life. The gift tat keeps on giving. Leverage. Scalability.

Its hard to help poor people when you are one of them.

In my experience, the skill of success breaks down into three things: The skill of marketing. The skill of sales. And teh skill of leadership.

“Andragogy” its literal meaning, I found out, is “man-leading”, and it is contrasted with “pedagogy” which means “child-leading”.

Books to read: Innovation and Entrepreneurship by Peter Drucker, Theart of the start by Guy Kawasaki.